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I’m so cranky the word “divorce” was bantered about last night. This should make all Kurt’s ex’s, who read this blog secretly, get excited. But don’t. We didn’t really mean it. What happened was I had this thing on my toe. I was sure it was a cyst or a tumor or something that was going to really tick me off for having since I just quit smoking. What a kick in the pants that would be if I quit smoking after all this time and wind up getting cancer anyway. Especially toe cancer. It’d be just my luck.
Kurt said it was just a pimple. That annoyed me. A pimple? A pimple on my toe? Who gets a pimple on her toe?! Now if I would have said I had this thing on my cheek or on my nose. Or even on my butt. I heard people get them there. In which case they are called carbuncles. I have no idea if they are called carbuncles. I don’t even know what a carbuncle is. But it sounds like something some old guy would get on his butt along with the hair on his back and coming out of his nostrils. Gross stuff like that.
One time Kelly had a pimple on her elbow. This was how I knew she’d never make a vet. It had come to a head and so I took a warm wet washcloth and simply washed it away. That caused her to start gagging and she ran into the bathroom where she threw-up. She threw-up from her own body stuff! That’s pretty bad when your own body stuff makes you gag. I said, “Forget a vet. How about being an architect? They make good money.”
Anyway, it’s Day Eleven and we’re still staying married.
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16 comments:
I missed something! So glad you're not getting divorced.
*snort* har har har! Gosh, you crack me up....a carbuncle? ROFLMBO!
~Lisa
Deb hang in there, I been thinking about you!! And yeah I am glad there is no divorce :) or carbuncle for that matter.
Oh the pain! the dark underbelly of addiction! Glad you've managed to keep some of your humor. Hang in there, we are rooting for you both. This might make your marriage stronger, having come through this dark time together.
You are so funny even when you are going through something so traumatic!! You can do it Debi! You have a lot of people pulling for you! Keep writing more stories when ever you want to smoke.
You are doing it - keep it up!!
Ewww, does it have pus in it? Ewwww LOL
DI
The Blue Ridge Gal
Hang in there! You'll make it through!
I know you will make it! hang in there, it will get easier (or so I'm told!)
Good for you for staying strong, Debi. I'm glad you're still married. And I'm glad you still have your sense of humor. :-)
Heck, PMS makes me think of divorce, so I'm with ya! (I'm sure my husband was about to give in too, with how I get some months) I love your humor. By the way, tell Kelly I've seen zits that made me wanna puke too :)
Maybe what you need is a nice long trail ride. Ever the weather ever cooperates, that is.
Just checking in to see how you are doing. I know ... not good. But hoping you are still smoke free (and married :).
Thank you my wonderful support team!
Thanks for all the wonderful comments, encouragement, and words of advice you've been giving me over at my blog. They are much appreciated :)
You had my mare pegged perfectly, too.
I hope you are doing well, my friend!
~Lisa
so freakin funny. poor kelly...having to deal with you lunatics.
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