Thursday, February 16, 2012

My Funeral


My girlfriend said I write about too many negative things. She said I should focus on the positive. She said if it wasn’t for Slow Bob, I wouldn’t be home. She’s right. So I’m writing about my funeral.

When we were leaving Virginia, I was surprised how many people were upset. I had no idea. I had no idea I was loved this much! Neighbors told me how much they’d miss me. Acquaintances—the woman who cut my hair, someone from the saddle club, the brothers Dewey and Fred—messaged me on Facebook. The bank ladies cried. Pearl and Eldon were so upset the last few weeks that we couldn’t even talk about it or else we’d all start crying. The night before we left they brought us hamburgers from Dairy Queen and bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits for breakfast the next morning. My friend Shelly sent her son and a couple of his friends to help us load the truck. Even our car mechanic, Mr. Walker, came over to say goodbye. He handed us a card. I told him I’d open it later because I wanted to read it and give its words my full attention. When we got up to Jersey and opened it, I found a $25 gift card inside. That really touched me because Mr. and Mrs. Walker probably don’t have a lot of money and they know they will never see me again. They didn’t give me that money because it’s good business and they hope I’ll call them the next time my car breaks down or because I’ll have to reciprocate when there’s some event in their life—the next wedding, a graduation... They gave it to me with literally no strings attached, no expectations, nothing. They just wanted to let me know how much they think of me. Even though they will never see me again. That was a truly altruistic move. And I have to admit, because most of you know I’m not a religious person, but that was some impressive Christian behavior.

But it was much more than twenty-five dollars that I received. It was the gift of finding out just how much I am loved. Some people go through their entire lives and never know this. I have gone to funerals that are packed with people and I wonder, did she know how much she was loved? I suspect most people have no idea. But I have been given that gift, a glimpse of my funeral. And the place is packed.

16 comments:

Tammy said...

Lovely post. Not too many get that gift.

Glad to see you posting. Looking forward to hearing about your new digs.

Grey Horse Matters said...

Most people never know how much they are loved but now you do. How nice to know that you made such an impression and added to people's lives. I'm sure they will miss having you around. How sweet of The Walkers to give you the card with the gift inside. And all the other folks who let you know how much you mean to them is a wonderful feeling.

They would probably love it if you stayed in touch with them for a while through letters or phone calls. I'm sure they'll wonder how you're doing. Glad to have you back up here in the north too, hope all is going well.

Chris said...

I'm so glad your VA experience ended on a high note. I throw myself a birthday party most years just because I want to know my friends love before my funeral. :)

Christina said...

There are still plenty of good people all over this country. Sounds like you knew quite a few and they thought of you the same way.

Sloan said...

Wherever you go you leave a trail of broken hearted neighbors! Its a wonderful thing when we discover how much we are loved.

Jeff said...

Ahhh, such bittersweet memories of leaving. Maybe they will make up, in part, for the nastiness of Slow Bob. No doubt, you will be adding some names to your Christmas card list.

all furry critters said...

and so...
now you know...
but are you happy up there???
we are still here feeling the same old stuff...you know...
and Bob still wants to go back to the Keys...
so I need to know...
can you really go back?

Greener Pastures--A City Girl Goes Country said...

Claudia, yes. I was a little worried that I was leaving because of grief and my mother's not here now... But it's been wonderful! I'm working on stories now about what's happening here. I'll put one up very soon.

Chris, that's a great idea, giving yourself a birthday party! Why not?!

Grey, Jeff, I've already talked to Pearl and Eldon a few times on the phone, and the Walkers. I will be sending them all Christmas cards. I still keep in touch with my old neighbors from when I tried Oklahoma! And now I have great places and friends to visit!

CountryDew said...

I'm glad there was something positive about your time in Virginia. I was starting to worry that there was nothing redeeming for you here.

Becky Mushko said...

We still miss y'all not being down the road a piece.

Sweetflutterbys3 said...

It's it odd how you never know the impression you make on others until a time like this? It's good to know you are loved and missed!

Motley said...

Debi, you know everyone loves you - who wouldn't?

Cape Coop said...

YOU are an incredible, loving and thoughtful soul. What is not to love? Who is better than you? Everything about you is lovable, and now you know, for once and for all time, the truth of it. Now come visit me, I need my Debi fix this week!

Gilly said...

You've always sounded a lovely person in your posts - so why wouldn't all your ex-neighbours love you?? But its always the way, isn't it? We never know how much we are loved and appreciated until we leave some place!

Its such a shame that we always find out those who don't like us pretty damn quickly!

Nezzy said...

Seems we are hardest on ourselves and few truly know how much they are loved.

Kinda seems sad to pack a funeral home to let 'em know after their gone. I often ask myself when was the last time I visited that person.

I can tell your a very loveable kinda gal!!!

God bless and have a wonderful day sweetie!!! :o)

Horses Are Our Lives said...

Those words are making me tear up. You need to re-title this to something like what you just said...Do you know how much you are loved? That has to make your heart feel good. hugs!