Wednesday, September 15, 2010

My Big Truck That Takes Diesel



I get a lot of attention in the new truck. People appreciate trucks around here. Especially big ones. They really love big ones with double wheels in the back (Kurt keeps calling it a dually) that take diesel. That’s truck gas. You see that on Ice Road Truckers—the big rigs getting diesel.

I’m like that girl on Ice Road Truckers. If she can drive one of those big rigs, I can drive our dually. It’s not easy though. You have to watch those double wheels every minute. I never know where to watch! In the big mirror, or the little mirrors that are attached to the big mirrors, or the rearview mirror, or the TV screen thing that comes on when you’re backing up. Usually I like to turn around and see for myself because you can’t trust new technology. Sometimes the thing starts beeping and you’ve got plenty of room! The truck is more nervous than I am. That’s pretty bad.

I like to put on my sunglasses when I drive it because then I look really cool. Long blonde hair and sunglasses driving a dually that takes diesel. Even though I can’t see very well with the sunglasses on. Sometimes I need my trifocals. There are plenty of places to put things in that truck so I put the trifocals in one of the little cup holders in the middle and when I need to change the channel on the Sirius radio, I take the sunglasses off, put them in another cup holder, and switch to the trifocals. After I find what I’m looking for, I put the sunglasses back on.

I love that Sirius radio! I think I could quit smoking using it if I stayed out in that truck all the time because every song is good and I sing at the top of my lungs. I sing till I’m blue in the face. Which doesn’t take very long because of the smoking. But I rebound real quick. Half a song and I’m going again. I can’t help myself. There are so many good songs on. I keep going back and forth between 6 on Sixties, 7 on Seventies, and Soul Train—Motown! Glorious Motown! I haven’t heard good stuff like Sly and the Family Stone and Marvin Gaye since I left New Jersey!

I feel like hot stuff when I’m passing guys working on the side of the road. I might give my hair a little flip but I do not put on the trifocals. They stop and lean on their shovels and nod their heads like they can hear Sly too. I act like it’s no big deal—me driving this big truck that takes diesel.

Parking it is another story. I don’t know what I’m going to do when we go back to Jersey where there are no parking spots. Here, I park way out on the other end of the parking lot when I’m going to Walmart and even so, I am always partly in the spot next to me. I act like I do it on purpose. Like I was trying to take up two spots. It is a brand new truck. There’s metallic flake in the black paint. It looks like little specks of 14 carat gold for God’s sake! There’s a new BMW that I suspect belongs to the eyeglass guy in Walmart that is parked way out no-man’s land too. I don’t blame him. Who wants to get sideswiped by someone’s old beat up farm truck or have the door of someone’s mini van that has a sticker of a soccer ball in the back window inadvertently hit your BMW or your truck that takes the diesel?

Yesterday when I came out of Walmart, I saw a scratch on the wheel well. I started pushing the cart faster. What?! A scratch?! How did that get there?! I hurried up the little hill, huffing and puffing because whoever designed this Walmart did it backwards. The store is downhill and the parking lot is uphill. It doesn’t make sense. When your cart is empty, you’re going downhill, but when it’s full, you’re going uphill. So when I arrive, I give the empty cart a push and hop on and if I don’t hit a stone to throw me off course I can make it all the way down to the entrance. Weeeee! I used to do this only when Kelly was with me so whoever was looking would think I was just being a good mommy and playing around with the kid. But the last couple of times I was there I got brave and did it by myself. If there is anything I learned after losing my mother it’s that you better treat every day like it could be your last. And if that means a grown woman is going to ride around the Walmart parking lot on a shopping cart, so be it.

At any rate, leaving the store with a full cart is another story. It’s bad enough if you only needed a few things but if you came to get dog food and litter and cases of Mountain Dew, all the heavy stuff, it’s literally an uphill battle. But when I saw that scratch on my dually diesel, I was like one of those old ladies who lifts a car off a person who got run over—I suddenly had super human strength and I ran up that hill with the overloaded cart and held it with one hand while I bent down and inspected the damage.

But it was nothing. Just a little dirt. I licked my finger and wiped it off. Someone said, “Nice truck.” I stood up and looked around. It was the landscapers doing those little islands in the parking lot. They had big trucks too. One of them even had the double wheels. But no gold-flecked paint and I’m not sure about the Sirius radio. I put on my sunglasses the minute I got in and pretended like I could see when I waved goodbye.

19 comments:

Grey Horse Matters said...

Very funny and I love your truck. I used to have one but it wasn't a dually. Lucky you. Love that Sirius radio too and all your stations. I listen to the same ones. Try Classic Vinyl or Classic Rewind they're good too. Anyway, good luck with the new baby and stay cool. Oh wait, you already are.

Gail said...

Wonderful post!!!

Delightfully funny and I can tell it came from your heart.

Rural Rambler said...

Oh yeah, you cool. Congrats on the dually! Here in the midwest we can't decide whether to call it a dooley or a dually. By any name it is one beautiful truck you have there. If we actually had one dang excuse to have one I'd be driving one. Course I'd need a booster seat to see out the dang windshield and a ladder to get out the door! Debi crank you up some Leon Russell and roll on down the road!

Eric said...

These off road trucks are perhaps most seen in the construction industry, especially where projects like pipelines, tunnels and bridges etc are being constructed. They are heavy duty vehicles and can be used to transport huge amounts of sand / mud or water to any place no matter how difficult the terrain might be. These trucks generally come with auto transmission and are air-condition vehicles.

Sweet Virginia Breeze said...

I love this post! When I'm in the truck, I always park far from the door at Walmart, too. We don't have a diesel or a dually - just a full size, king cab, 4x4. Your truck is way cool!

Greener Pastures--A City Girl Goes Country said...

Yes, Classic Vinyl and Rewind are my other favorites!

Oh yeah, and Leon Russel will sound amazing in there!

Christina said...

Now that is a good looking truck!

Tammy said...

Love the truck! It might have made it to WY and back (unlike my stupid truck!). Tis very cool!

Jeff said...

You're too much! Hopping on a shopping cart and riding it downhill. Reminds me of the time a friend grabbed the bumper of a car while wearing roller skates! I had Sirius radio in a car I rented one time - it was great until, after about 5 days, the songs started over again. But such a selection! Songs I hadn't heard for years and years! Very nice.

Kelly said...

I'll be driving this to school alright!;)

Motley said...

OMG that is funny stuff Deb! I was laughing all the way thru. I myself ride the carts in the parking lot, and I must say, I am quite fast! We must race someday! BTW, there are sunglass holders in those things! That truck is a BEAST! Does your husband ever get to drive it! haha

Motley

CountryDew said...

You da girl!

Sweetflutterbys3 said...

Oh my gosh, what a cool vehicle! I drive a mini van, which I love, but it's decidedly not cool.

That Walmart situation is pretty funny. It really makes you wonder what planners are thinking when they design these buildings and parking lots. Bet they don't do any heavy duty shopping and that's why!

Beth said...

We used to have a Ford F-150 when the kids were little, and they loved riding in it. It definitely gave us "cool" points in our rural community. Which the Toyota Camry I have now definitely does not. It's hard to be Ms. All-That in a Toyota Camry. :-)

I like riding shopping carts, too, but I'm too shy to do it when people are around. Good for you to ride boldly!

Giulia said...

Talk about a city girl. You call that a truck?? With no rust, dents, serious (sic) radio and a screen that show you a photo of your backup area? Where's the gun rack?, the dead deer on top of the hood? Geez.

PS - I've been riding carts in Walmart all my life. IN the store. At full speed. Particularly good when having to go from the food end to the pharmacy end. Cuts the time in half. I had one guy say to me the other day "That's cheatin'." I laughed and said, "YOU BET!" (Thanks for dropping on my blog.)

Snappy Di said...

It IS a nice looking truck. I could never park it properly though... clutz that I am. AND, I'm all about sunglasses when I drive too.

DI

Greener Pastures--A City Girl Goes Country said...

Well, you should see my real farm truck. It's primer grey. Nothing works on the dashboard. Crack in the windshield. No gun rack though. I FEED the deer, lol.

cynda said...

Maybe you'll give me a ride in that truck some day?!

Giulia said...

YOU FEED THE DEER??? What - are you NUTS? Nah, you must mean you feed them because they roam freely through your garden. No salt lick, surely? Though I've heard if you provide them with deer food, they won't eat your garden. Any opinion on that? What's cheaper - building fences to keep them out or giving them a feeding alternative? Or there's always the 30 ought 6. (And that's a reference only certain folk will know...)